We are a Dream

I know i haven't updated this space for so long, because fortunately I always have friends to talk to regarding anything interesting happening in my life & hence I feel sooo lazy updating here! But sometimes, prolly times like this, I just feel like talking to myself and talking to my screen - sometimes remaining silent is just better. Afterall, silence is golden.

A new school term has started & honestly, the past 3 months of holidays have been one of the craziest ever in my life. I tried new things I thought I would never tried, went on trips I thought I'd never be able to go, had so much fun working for the first time... & i lost something very dear to me. As much as I really loved those 3 months, I really hated it as well. I never felt so lost & confused ever since those horrible times in JC, to the extent that I made many stupid decisions & I'm paying the price for them up till now. Although subtly I am thankful for all that has happened, sometimes the consequences may be too much to bear because in the end, I'm not the only one getting hurt. Still, we never know what we've gained till we've lost it - & even though I am paying for all my silly mistakes now, I'm glad for all that has happened because only then did I realize what's really the most important for me & what's best for me.

No idea how long all these will take, & even though I really am tired of all these confusion & doubts, something inside me tells me it'll all still be worth it in the end. Because something inside tells me that it is worth the wait, & something inside tells me that at the end of the day, this is what I really want (:

Sometimes I really do know the problems I face as an only child - I'm used to getting my way, used to being listened to & used to doing whatever I want. Not complaining, but life doesn't allow me to hold on to all these behaviours as I slowly grow up. Easier said than done if I wana correct them, because afterall, this is how I've been for the past 21 years. Still, 21 has marked a stage of adulthood & I know the only way to go up is to change. I realise how fortunate I am to have caring & patient friends with me all these while, but I guess after several lessons you just have to tell yourself that enough is enough & it's really time to break out of this comfort zone. Just wondering how I'm gona do that though :/

Guess time will tell everything. Although I really hate the process that comes along with the result, it is still the only way out. But like I said, it'll be worth it. Just gotta hang in there & don't give up on me (:

Now that I'm finally blogging I really do miss the feel of it hehe. Shall attempt to blog more often yo!